We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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