I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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