I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
