i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
