about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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