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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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