DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
