you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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