We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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