Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
