Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
