I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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