All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
