how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
