If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize