yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
