Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
