I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Success! We fucked roommates!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
