wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
