Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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