he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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