I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
