i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
