Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Everyone says I win the strip club
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
