just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
