I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
