The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
as a side note pls kill me
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
