I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
There's even glitter on my cock...
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