Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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