I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
