I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is Oprah even human
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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