She went from zero to smokin in five shots
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
