i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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