Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
