is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
