Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I touched a dick in church today
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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