my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
