Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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