let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
