found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
