I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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