youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
if only i could text you this smell
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
