i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
