I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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