Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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