Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Sacagawea was the original milf.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
