batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
