the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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