all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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