Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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