the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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