He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
