You're so nebulous sometimes
Just fell off a train. Bad.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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