Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize